Toddlers and Food: Best Practices for Family Dinnertime

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COVID-19 & Mealtime as a Central Activity

Right now, as parents and their children are sheltering in place, eating has become even more of a central activity in many homes. It is important to point out that preparing and eating three meals a day can be stressful, especially for parents who typically work outside of the home and now have to juggle work and child care. Also, family dinner dynamics may remind parents of their own childhood challenges during family meals. It’s important that parents are cognizant of their own difficult feelings that resurface when creating a current dinner environment that is designed to foster healthy habits for their children. 

With the changes in the world outside, young children might feel less in control over their routines and activities and try to exert more control over what they are eating to compensate for that. Meeting this change with understanding can eliminate an unnecessary power struggle and help children eat better.

The Developmental Importance of Eating Habits

Immediately after birth, feeding becomes a primary interaction and experience between parents and infant. Holding and feeding, even from a bottle, is a bonding experience for a baby and caregiver. As infants grow, parents feel increasingly confident in their ability to foster their infants development. 

Between four and  six months, typically developing children begin to teethe, sit with support, and show an increased interest in the world — and solid foods. The baby is now exposed to new tastes, textures, and smells — and preferences start to develop. For parents, this can be a period of new anxiety: Will my baby who fed well on the breast or bottle transition well to new eating patterns?  By remaining highly attuned to their child’s signals and sensitivities, parents can and do well when they encourage discovery and exploration of this new territory. 

For toddlers, touching food and self-directed feeding is as important as the food itself. As toddlers start to explore more, their tastes and appetites might change. Feeding oneself marks a shift towards independence, and it is important for parents to recognize this developmental change and encourage toddler’s choices — within reason — especially when toddlers become more picky or restrictive eaters. Meals should be well-balanced, but particular tastes should be respected. Gentle encouragement to try new foods should replace parental admonishment or demands. 

Young children: Partners in the Family Meal

Toddlerhood is the ideal time for children to become partners in the family meal. Here are some suggestions for  how to conduct successful dinners:

  • Toddlers enjoy interacting with their family and can be encouraged to try new foods if they see others eat them. Sitting, socializing, and engaging around the table during meals is the best approach. Still, it is not unusual for toddlers to eat less and even refuse foods that they ate in the past (so don’t worry). As mentioned, it is important that they are given a choice about what to eat.

  • Toddlers should experience what they eat with all their senses. While throwing food should be gently discouraged, eating with the hands, regardless of the mess, is an expression of independence. 

  • Toddler eating habits may not be what we expect of adults or older children. Given the current shelter-in-place situation, special dinner themes like Pizza Night or Taco Tuesday should continue in order to provide a sense of normalcy. 

  • Involving toddlers in the cooking or baking process can help encourage experimentation and is an enjoyable bonding experience.  An older sibling’s engagement can go a long way as well.  

Implementing structures and routines around food will set a foundation for good eating habits in the future. Toddler eating patterns ebb and flow, progress and regress — and this is to be expected. As with everything developmental, it’s a process. Contact me to discuss any questions you might have.